The pitter-patter of rain fall against the glass calls out to me. I just ignore it. I can hear the wind hiss my name, but I just sit there, emotionless. The phone aches to be answered, begging me over and over again, but I cant. I just continuously stare at the television, letting my mind numb slowly away.
The answering machine goes off for the 14th time. I half hear my blur of a greeting, followed by a sharp beep. Your voice follows. I listen to you, but not to the words. I listen to the sadness in your voice, the way you pronounce your words so perfectly without any flaws. I listen even closer for the short, soft breathes you take. Then, while in the middle of your pointless words, the tape ends, cutting you off mid-sentence.
I want to go to you. I want you to lie to me like you always have, like you always will. I want to hear my favorite lie of all; the one where you tell me she meant nothing, and I was the one you always wanted. Or the one where you say it was a drunken mistake, and you had no idea at all what you were doing with that guy, that that was the first time you had ever done anything like that before. But its two time too late for that.
Everything in this cruddy apartment is reminding me of you, making sure I never forget your freaking existence or your constant presence in my mind. Everything is just buzzing around me in hypnotic blur going so fast, its slow. I cant think straight.
So, I do it. I rush out into the pouring mid-night rain, car keys in hand. I start the car, and instead of going left like you would expect me to right now, I turn right, heading towards the freeway.
I know exactly where Im going, though the how and why, Im not so sure myself. All I know is that its some where I need to be, and some where you would least expect.